New Bedford Guide Your Guide to New Bedford and South Coast, MA
Most area people know Manny DeBrito from his wildly successful non-profit program A’s before J’s or his position with the City of New Bedford as the Election Commission Chair. “I want to use my platform and use my voice in the hopes to inspire just one person. You never know what someone is going through or has gone through at any point. Be empathetic.”
Manny knows what it is like to be at the lowest of lows, having others judging your misfortune and almost giving up. He was kind and brave enough to share his story with us.
It is easy to look at someone and see where they are at right now, the apparent “good life”, happiness, success – but to really know a person you have to know their journey, their struggle and what it takes to maintain their current state. Such is the case with Manny DeBrito. 20 years ago Manny was an outgoing, 25-year-old guy working finance in Boston and enjoying life. Manny suddenly got very sick and doctors had no answers. They tried treating him for multiple diagnoses but nothing was working. The sickness was debilitating – Manny missed so much work that he ended up losing his job. With no job, he could not afford his apartment or car and was forced to move in with his parents and get on transitional assistance that provided him an EBT card. With no one able to pinpoint what was wrong Manny began hearing things like, “it’s just in your head” or “you look healthy so you must be healthy” while also feeling the weight of judgment every time he was out in public. Manny also had, at the time, a 2-year-old son who he was unable to spend the time and do the things he was accustomed to do because of the sickness. After over a year of this, Manny was finally diagnosed with Lyme disease. The disease, mixed with the hard-hitting medication, continued to wreak havoc on Manny. He was living in his parent’s basement with no job, no money, unable to spend time with his son, missing out on life and feeling as if he was a burden those family and friends trying to help him out. Manny couldn’t see any light at the end of the tunnel, was extremely depressed and had hit his absolute rock bottom. He was 27 years old.
Manny and his family felt like a change in scenery might be the answer so he packed up what little he had and moved out west to stay with family there. “I quickly realized all I had done was transplant my problems and felt I was now just a burden to a different group of family. I was still not feeling right, couldn’t find any work out there so after about a month I decided to head back home.” Shortly after his return to New Bedford, many joined a group of his friends on a bus trip for a friend’s birthday party. Little did he know that on this bus trip he would meet his future wife, Athena. “Not only was I completely physically attracted to this person, but I loved spending time with her. I had absolutely nothing to offer her at this time – I was sick, broke, no job and had a young son – but she saw something in me. She believed in me. My father says to this day that she was my gift from God.”
Slowly, things started to get better for Manny. He found a doctor in Harwich who was treating him and helping him through his disease, started working again and was spending more time with Athena. “Even after recovery, it was difficult because I am physically feeling better but it is the mental work that takes even more time and the part that no one sees.” “The stigma that is attached to taking medication to help with mental health is daunting, but I do it and look at me. I am doing what I love and what I was put on this earth to do. It takes work every day. It doesn’t affect my heart. I am so blessed I have been given a second opportunity. I owe it to the people that have supported me and to the great city that I live in. Embrace your weakness and the frailty and know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.”
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Stigma free Southcoast is a collaborative initiative highlighting the everyday people of the Southcoast who are working to remove the stigmas associated with mental health, mental illnesses, depression, suicide, postpartum and addiction, to name a few. Our goal and mission is to share our stories and personal battles with the end result of moving closer to removing the stigma. We are your everyday people- the teachers, the businessmen and women, the parent at the sporting event, your neighbor. These are everyday struggles that know no color, race, sex, socioeconomic status- the stigmas are real and they are daunting. Let’s work together to help make a #stigmaFreeSouthcoast.
