Juiet Xifaras, RN, IBCLC, and wellness enthusiast has over ten years of experience in the field of maternity nursing, specializing in breastfeeding and childbirth education. In 2018 she followed her passion and launched “Wholehearted Wellness” to support mind and body wellness using holistic solutions. She continues to support mothers with lactation and the challenges that may arise for women navigating the transition to motherhood. Juliet is a wife and twin mama. She sat down with us to discuss strategies and struggles during postpartum/perinatal as well as her own mental health struggles.

Juliet started out her career in social work primarily working with pregnant teenagers and this inspired her to go into nursing. Her nursing career started as a labor and delivery nurse in San Diego supporting laboring and birthing moms. Eventually, Juliet became a lactation consultant and worked with moms during the perinatal period. “The postpartum period is such a major transition for these women,” says Juliet, “It is certainly one of the biggest transitions for women.” Juliet mentions that the perinatal stage is defined as during pregnancy and through the postpartum period – into the first year. Using her experience as a lactation consultant, Juliet partnered with a local friend and business owner, Courtney Steele, to offer a 4-week series where new moms could come together to support each other, learn a little more about the lactation process from Juliet but also receive a little pampering. “Self-Care is such a vital part of the postpartum stage and we wanted to provide that as well as a space to gather and collaborate and just be surrounded by other women going through the same process.”

Juliet herself has a pretty significant history with mental health issues. “I struggled with anxiety and depression starting in my late teens,“ said Juliet, “ I had these indirect pressures from my upbringing and family and mixed with my desire for perfection, it caused me to have some significant triggers.” These mental health issues were a concern for some family members when Juliet and her husband, Tom, were considering pregnancy. “I had been building my toolbox, as I call it, of healthy coping mechanisms for when I was feeling triggered. I built this up over time and through experience.” Juliet knew that because of her battles with anxiety and depression it would put her at risk for postpartum depression. After much consideration and deliberation, Juliet and her husband were blessed with twin boys. “I was elated! It was like falling in love all over again.” “After about the first 4 months with my boys, that’s when things started to go badly. I started comparing myself to other moms in these groups I was following and it was my inner need for perfection that I felt like I was failing – mix these feelings with a lack of sleep and I hit a wall and the anxiety and depression hit.” Juliet credits her time spent at the Day Hospital, which is a section of Women and Infants in Providence, where new moms suffering with depression and anxiety, can bring their babies and spend the day. “It was great to spend time with my boys and other moms and their children and support each other,” said Juliet.

Throughout her years of dealing with anxiety and depression, Juliet has been able to not only help herself, but help others in the process. “I know that I need to ask for help when I am feeling triggered. It is part of that toolbox that I have developed over time on what I can draw on and fall back on when I need it.” Juliet shared the acronym M (medications) E (exercise) D (diet – what we eat) S (sleep) as a great starting point to fall back on when feeling overwhelmed/guide to follow to healthy coping skills. “Knowing yourself and knowing your triggers while also being able to ask for help from your support system is the best advice I can give new moms when starting out.”

This article was made possible and is sponsored by Balkun Title & Closing – with years of experience their team is more than qualified to execute final steps for a flawless real estate transaction. Visit them at https://www.danbalkun.com/ or find them on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/BalkunTitleandClosing

Stigma free Southcoast is a collaborative initiative highlighting the everyday people of the Southcoast who are working to remove the stigmas associated with mental health, mental illnesses, depression, suicide, postpartum and addiction, to name a few. Our goal and mission is to share our stories and personal battles with the end result of moving closer to removing the stigma. We are your everyday people- the teachers, the businessmen and women, the parent at the sporting event, your neighbor. These are everyday struggles that know no color, race, sex, socioeconomic status- the stigmas are real and they are daunting. Let’s work together to help make a #stigmaFreeSouthcoast.

Most area people know Manny DeBrito from his wildly successful non-profit program A’s before J’s or his position with the City of New Bedford as the Election Commission Chair. “I want to use my platform and use my voice in the hopes to inspire just one person. You never know what someone is going through or has gone through at any point. Be empathetic.”

Manny knows what it is like to be at the lowest of lows, having others judging your misfortune and almost giving up. He was kind and brave enough to share his story with us.

It is easy to look at someone and see where they are at right now, the apparent “good life”, happiness, success – but to really know a person you have to know their journey, their struggle and what it takes to maintain their current state. Such is the case with Manny DeBrito. 20 years ago Manny was an outgoing, 25-year-old guy working finance in Boston and enjoying life. Manny suddenly got very sick and doctors had no answers. They tried treating him for multiple diagnoses but nothing was working. The sickness was debilitating – Manny missed so much work that he ended up losing his job. With no job, he could not afford his apartment or car and was forced to move in with his parents and get on transitional assistance that provided him an EBT card. With no one able to pinpoint what was wrong Manny began hearing things like, “it’s just in your head” or “you look healthy so you must be healthy” while also feeling the weight of judgment every time he was out in public. Manny also had, at the time, a 2-year-old son who he was unable to spend the time and do the things he was accustomed to do because of the sickness. After over a year of this, Manny was finally diagnosed with Lyme disease. The disease, mixed with the hard-hitting medication, continued to wreak havoc on Manny. He was living in his parent’s basement with no job, no money, unable to spend time with his son, missing out on life and feeling as if he was a burden those family and friends trying to help him out. Manny couldn’t see any light at the end of the tunnel, was extremely depressed and had hit his absolute rock bottom. He was 27 years old.

Manny and his family felt like a change in scenery might be the answer so he packed up what little he had and moved out west to stay with family there. “I quickly realized all I had done was transplant my problems and felt I was now just a burden to a different group of family. I was still not feeling right, couldn’t find any work out there so after about a month I decided to head back home.” Shortly after his return to New Bedford, many joined a group of his friends on a bus trip for a friend’s birthday party. Little did he know that on this bus trip he would meet his future wife, Athena. “Not only was I completely physically attracted to this person, but I loved spending time with her. I had absolutely nothing to offer her at this time – I was sick, broke, no job and had a young son – but she saw something in me. She believed in me. My father says to this day that she was my gift from God.”

Slowly, things started to get better for Manny. He found a doctor in Harwich who was treating him and helping him through his disease, started working again and was spending more time with Athena. “Even after recovery, it was difficult because I am physically feeling better but it is the mental work that takes even more time and the part that no one sees.” “The stigma that is attached to taking medication to help with mental health is daunting, but I do it and look at me. I am doing what I love and what I was put on this earth to do. It takes work every day. It doesn’t affect my heart. I am so blessed I have been given a second opportunity. I owe it to the people that have supported me and to the great city that I live in. Embrace your weakness and the frailty and know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.”

This article was made possible and is sponsored by Balkun Title & Closing – with years of experience their team is more than qualified to execute final steps for a flawless real estate transaction. Visit them at https://www.danbalkun.com/ or find them on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/BalkunTitleandClosing

Stigma free Southcoast is a collaborative initiative highlighting the everyday people of the Southcoast who are working to remove the stigmas associated with mental health, mental illnesses, depression, suicide, postpartum and addiction, to name a few. Our goal and mission is to share our stories and personal battles with the end result of moving closer to removing the stigma. We are your everyday people- the teachers, the businessmen and women, the parent at the sporting event, your neighbor. These are everyday struggles that know no color, race, sex, socioeconomic status- the stigmas are real and they are daunting. Let’s work together to help make a #stigmaFreeSouthcoast.