When it comes to taste in romance, choosing a movie is like deciding what to eat for dinner. People’s palate for romance can range from hot and spicy to fluffy and sweet. If you are a big sucker for romantic classics like Casablanca, When Harry Met Sally or Pretty in Pink then you don’t need help choosing a love story to set the Valentine’s Day mood. However, if you’re like me and prefer your romance sprinkled in lightly, you may find that most tales of star-crossed lovers make you gag. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a fan of a good love story, but my palate is a bit touchy when it comes to what I consider romantic and what I consider sappy.

If you’ve decided that your Valentine’s Day this year will consist of cuddling on the couch in front of the TV, here are seven romance films that I consider to be sufferable, even for those who don’t typically have the stomach for it.

1. Titanic
Okay, this is a given. While we may all have heard “I’ll never let go Jack” quoted a billion times, this movie is a bit of a cinematic masterpiece and its blend of history and romance makes it an all-time favorite for many. Titanic pulls viewers in with the story of underdog Jack (Leonardo Dicaprio) winning over social elite Rose (Kate Winslett), and keeps us rooting for them despite the tragic end we know is doomed to befall them. It never fails to be romantic and is so epic a film that it’s sappy level isn’t unbearable.

2. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
If you’ve never seen this movie I recommend that you only venture into watching it if you’re a fan of cerebral films that leave you thinking. I had to watch this movie several times before I got all the intricacies of the way the plot is laid out, but it’s rather genius and cunning.

Jim Carrey stars in this film about a man who discovers that his ex-girlfriend (Kate Winslet) has erased him from her memory. Angered and heartbroken by her rash decision he decides to seek out the same service and have her erased from his memory as well. Despite the sci-fi-esque nature of the plot, this movie provides an honest look at love and the pains and pleasures it brings.

3. Garden State
Zach Braff wrote, directed and starred in Garden State, and thus it’s a rather strange movie. With dry humor and lots of awkward moments, this film is centers around Andrew Largeman (Braff), a twenty-something-year-old struggling actor who has to go home to New Jersey for his mother’s funeral. While at home, he decides to stop taking the heavy doses of antidepressants that he had been on since childhood and slowly starts to experience life again (with all its oddities). In the process of awakening he meets Sam (Natalie Portman), a pathological liar who he starts to fall in love with. It’s an offbeat love story that I think fits great with my generation.

4. Friends with Benefits
If you are looking for a romance movie with a bit of steam to it and a lot of laughs, Friends with Benefits is an excellent option. It’s basically about exactly what it sounds like; a guy and a girl (Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis) believe that they can have a sex and stay friends without complications. Of course, feelings develop between them which leads to some LOL moments and a rather cute love story.

5. The Wedding Singer
I don’t know why I like this movie so much. Maybe it’s the ridiculous 80s fashion and references, maybe it’s because Adam Sandler was still funny back then, or maybe it’s because it’s just a really sweet movie. It’s pretty typical as far as romance movies go; good guy falls for good girl, good girl already has jerk boyfriend, and thus good guy ends up making a spectacular gesture to win the girl. Despite the obvious plot it has a lot of goofy Sandler-esque humor, making it a nice, lighthearted romance.

6. Moulin Rouge
Baz Luhrmann set a new standard for bizarre when he came out with Moulin Rouge in 2001. Labeled as a “jukebox musical” this movie blends vibrant cinematic effects with a rocking soundtrack that features musical adaptations of songs that range from Elton John to Nirvana.

If you and your Valentine love music, this is a great movie. Taking place in Paris at the turn of the 19th Century, this movie is a heartbreaking romance that promises to thrill. Impoverished writer Christian (Ewan McGregor) moves to Montmartre to join the Bohemian revolution and soon falls in love with the enchanting Satine (Nicole Kidman), who is a courtesan. Their forbidden love makes this film edgy and exciting from start to finish.

7. Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Forgetting Sarah Marshall is so funny that I didn’t even think of it as being a romance at first. Yet, when I really thought about it I realized that this is a great story about heartbreak, finding love when you don’t expect it and the general ridiculousness of human nature.

Composer Peter (Jason Segal) is devastated when his actress girlfriend (Kristen Bell) breaks up with him. Hoping to collect himself he decides to take a vacation to Hawaii, only to find his ex vacationing there with big time rock star Aldous Snow (Russell Brand). While the vacation is essentially ruined, it slowly improves when he starts to spend time with the attractive, witty hotel concierge (Mila Kunis).

If you haven’t already seen this movie, it’s hilarious. And if you have already seen it, it’s still funny and a great pick for passing some time with your Valentine.

What are some of your sufferable romance movies? Post a comment!

There are two UFC events back to back Friday and Saturday evenings, so this installment will differ compared to previous ones. The beauty of the events is that they are on cable TV as opposed to Pay-Per-View and therefore “free.” For those who have been following the sport for some time, you will recall a time where no event was free. Time, they are a-changing.

Main Card (FX Channel):
155#: George Sotiropoulos (14-4) vs. Ross Pearson (15-6) wins by TKO in RD3!
170#: Brad Scott (8-1) vs. Robert Whittaker (10-2) wins by Unanimous Decision!
155#: Colin Fletcher (9-1) vs. Norman Parke (17-2) wins by Unanimous Decision!
185#: Hector Lombard (31-3-1 1NC) vs. Rousimar Palhares (23-4) wins by TKO in RD1!

Preliminary Card (FUEL TV):
145#: Chad Mendes (12-1) vs Yaotzin Meza (18-7) wins by KO in RD1!
205#: Igor Pokrajac vs Joey Beltran wins by Unanimous Decision!
170#: Mike Pierce (16-5) vs Seth Baczynski (18-9) wins by Split Decision!
170#: Ben Alloway (13-3) vs Manuel Rodriguez (9-4) wins by KO in RD1!
155#: Brendan Loughnane (5-1) vs Mike Wilkinson (8-0) wins by Unanimous Decision!
205#: Nick Penner (11-3) vs Cody Donovan (8-2) wins by KO in RD1!

Ultimate Fighting Championship on FX 6 takes place on December 14, 2012 at the Gold Coast Convention and Exhibition Centre in Queensland, Australia. The preliminary card starts at 6 p.m. EST on FUEL TC. The main card begins at 9 p.m. EST on FX Channel.

Submission maven and Aussie George Sotiropoulos is facing gritty Brit Ross Pearson. Both fighters have very aggressive, entertaining styles and putting them in the ring together should translate into fireworks. George began his UFC career in 2007 and strung together a 7 fight win streak, including notable wins over Kurt Pellegrino and Joe Lauzon. Sotiropoulos likes to begin fights standing since most people do not want to be anywhere near the ground against him as his submission style is highly aggressive, active, dangerous and unorthodox. He knows that he can’t reveal all his playing cards and will have to strike to find opening to take it to the ground. With two losses back to back including a KO at the hands of Brazilian Rafael dos Anjos, all eyes and pressure will be on him to perform.

Pearson is just pure fun to watch. There will be no surprise here. Pearson comes to strike and knock you out. Don’t be surprised if George obliges him and we have a boxing match. Pearson is 5-3 in the UFC and similar pressure will be on him to perform and win. In essence, both fighters are painted into a corner and will have to win and do so impressively. NBG Pick: Georges Sotiropoulos.

In this fight we have two mini-Hulks facing off. You will be hard pressed to find two guys with more muscle in any division. Both me seem to have that “born to fight” mentality. Cuban Hector Lombard came to the UFC from Bellator as a highly lauded prospect. In Bellator he was smashing people and doing so easily. He came to the UFC in July at UFC 149 and faced Tim Boetsch but lost a Split Decision and looked flat, at times confused, and even lethargic. Much more is expected of him this time around and he has his hands full with Brazilian Rousimar Palhares who has a submission game that revolves around leglocks. Ultra aggressive and highly dangerous, it’s pretty much a given, that if he gets hold of a leg, his opponents will forfeit soon after. NBG Pick: Hector Lombard.

There are the Lightweight and Welterweight finals of ‘The Ultimate Fighter’ TV show on the main card, and vets Chad Mendes, Joey “The Mexicutioner” Beltran, and Mike Pierce to keep your eyes on.

Come back for the results, updates and animated gifs. What are your picks for the headline fight between Sotiropoulos and Pearson? Does Palhares catch Lombard in a leglock, or does Hector come alive and return to his Bellator ways Who wins the bonuses?

Main Card (FX Channel):
265#: Roy Nelson (18-7) vs Matt Mitrione (5-1) wins by KO in RD1!
155#: Mike Ricci (8-2) vs Colton Smith (5-1) wins by Unanimous Decision!
265#: Pat Barry (7-5) vs Shane del Rosario (11-1) wins by KO in RD2!
155#: Melvin Guillard (47-12-3 1NC) vs Jamie Varner (20-7-1 2NC) CANCELLED
145#: Jonathan Brookins (14-5) vs Dustin Poirier (12-2) wins by D’Arce choke in RD1!

Preliminary Card (FUEL TV) @ 7:00
170#: James Head (9-2) vs Mike Pyle (23-8-1) wins by TKO in RD1!
135#: Marcos Pancini (20-4-1) vs Johnny Bedford (18-10-1) wins by KO in RD2!
155#: Rustam Khabilov (14-1) vs Vinc Pichel (7-0) wins by TKO in RD1!
170#: Nick Catone (9-3) vs T.J. Waldburger (15-7) wins by Triangle Choke in RD2!

Preliminary Card (Facebook) @ 5:30
135#: Reuben Duran (8-3-1) vs Hugo Viana (6-1) wins by TKO in RD1!
155#: Mike Rio (8-1) vs John Cofer (7-3) wins by Armbar in RD3!
125#: Jared Papazian (14-8 1NC) vs Tim Elliot (8-3-1) wins by Unanimous Decision!

When we are young, we dream about what we want to be when we grow up.  For many of us, those plans change.  Still, there are the lucky few that are born with a talent, are destined to find themselves in that special job, and in the end, actually make it.  Twenty-one year old New Bedford native, Marlena Johnson, is one of those lucky few.  For her, luck does not even begin to describe the life-changing experience she is about to embark on.  A natural singer and entertainer, Johnson will be spending the next six months in London starring in THRILLER Live, the international Michael Jackson tribute concert. (http://thrillerlive.com/)

“I always told myself I’d meet him, but if not, this is the closest,” says Johnson, a lifelong Michael Jackson fan.  “The first song I heard was Pretty Young Thing and from that moment on, I just knew I loved him.”  Today, Johnson has been collecting Michael Jackson memorabilia for 13 years.  “I’m not obsessed. It’s just that Michael Jackson has been with me my entire life.  He’s been a big part of my upbringing.”  Now, Johnson gets to live out her greatest dream, singing in his honor and keeping his legacy alive.

Johnson was selected after being flown out to London for an audition.  Her referral came from her sister, Samantha, who currently stars as the Leading Lady in the THRILLER Live Tokyo tour.  Johnson says she was nervous about auditioning, but credits much of her success to her experiences in New Bedford.  A former Miss New Bedford, Johnson says that pageants helped prepare her to be “articulate, confident, and motivated.”  When it came time to perform, she also had local experience as the winner of the first New Bedford Idol competition and as a ‘Dynamite’ in the 2012 New Bedford Festival Theatre production of Hairspray.

For Johnson, traveling to London is not just an opportunity to perform – it’s an opportunity to inspire.  It’s about “spreading a positive message. Michael Jackson just wanted to spread love.  If people really listened to his music and to his message, they were anthems.  He wanted to heal the world.” Even greater than her love for music, Johnson is passionate about inspiring people and making a difference.  “I feel like for me, God blessed me as someone who can deliver a message. Part of my inspiration always comes from Michael Jackson and what I got from his messages.”  Now, by performing and inspiring, Johnson feels that this experience will help her figure out who she is and what her future holds.

Though leaving for a short while, no stardom can keep Johnson from her true New Bedford roots.  “My life is here in New Bedford.  This is where I grew up, this is what I’m used to and this is what I know.  The people I love are here.”  Ultimately, Johnson hopes that impacting others through music will lead her back home to New Bedford to do the same. “If you have a talent, you utilize that talent.”  While she doesn’t have all the answers, Johnson knows one thing.  “I know I want to work with kids. I want to make a positive impact on their life. I don’t know the label, what I would call myself, or what I want to be, but I know what I want to do and that’s inspire.”

For the next six months, Johnson will be on tour in London, rehearsing and ultimately performing three times a week as an understudy to the Leading Lady role. At the present time, the Leading Lady is former American Idol Season Two finalist, Trenyce Cobbins.  The show consists of Michael Jackson’s greatest hits and classics from the Jackson 5. Johnson will sing and dance, or as she calls it “the Michael ‘swag’.”  Just days before leaving, Johnson was both nervous and excited.  “It still hasn’t hit me.” Aside from her excitement, she states that she will miss her family and her close friends.  “There’s no way I can forget New Bedford.”

Humbled by her life at home, Johnson is ready for the exciting journey that lies ahead. With Michael Jackson’s music and a message of love, Johnson aims to inspire. “I think everyone can change their life just by changing their thoughts.”  Whether in New Bedford or halfway across the world, she says, “We all need to work together to make this place beautiful.”

To follow Marlena Johnson’s journey, visit her blog at http://marlenajohnson.tumblr.com/.

Have you ever wanted to explore the Arctic? Here is your chance to do it, without even having to travel far! New Bedford Whaling National Historical Park offers two free screenings of the hit movie, “Big Miracle” on Thursday, December 27, as a part of “A Day in the Arctic.” During the week of school vacation, New Bedford Whaling National Historical Park and New Bedford Whaling Museum will be creating a fun-filled day, featuring free crafts, movies, and activities from 10 am- 4 pm. New Bedford Whaling National Historical Park is located at 33 William Street in downtown New Bedford. New Bedford Whaling Museum is located just one block away, at 18 Johnny Cake Hill. At New Bedford Whaling National Historical Park: (508-996-4095):

10:00 a.m. – Enjoy a reading of the children’s book, “Whale Snow” and try on Arctic clothing; screening of the movie, “Big Miracle”, rated PG; 107 minutes.
11:00 a.m. – Make a snow globe to take home.
12:00 p.m. – Build a snow fort; have a snowball fight.
1:00 p.m. – How are snowflakes created? Discover how nature creates this wonder of nature; make a snowflake tree ornament; participate in Arctic Olympics activities.
2:00 p.m. – screening of movie: “Big Miracle,” rated PG; 107 minutes Weather permitting, build a snowman outside.

At New Bedford Whaling Museum: (508-997-0046):

Free crafts and hands-on activities for the family in the Jacobs Family Gallery, 10:00-12:00 Highlights tours (with regular admission) from 10:00-11:00 am and 1:00-2:00 pm Go below deck on the Lagoda (with regular admission) from 10:00 am-12:00 noon.

Touch a real seal hide, try on parkas, and cardboard snow goggles, from 10:00-12:00 in the Jacobs Family Gallery.

The Dock-U-Mentaries Film Series continues Friday, December 21st at 7 p.m. with Whales of Gold, introduced by the award-winning film maker, Lucia Duncan. Dock-U-Mentaries is a co-production of New Bedford Whaling National Historical Park and the Working Waterfront Festival. Films about the working waterfront are screened on the third Friday of each month beginning at 7:00 PM in the theater of the Corson Maritime Learning Center, located at 33 William Street in downtown New Bedford. All programs are open to the public and presented free of charge.

Whales of Gold (42 minutes) explores the impact of eco-tourism on a traditional fishing village. Every winter, following the migration of gray whales, tourists, scientists, and conservationists descend upon the San Ignacio Lagoon in Baja California, Mexico. Their presence – and the establishment of Latin America’s largest biosphere reserve – brings profound change to the lagoon’s small fishing community. Twelve-year-old Antonio negotiates between the different points of view of locals and outsiders about the changes and what the future will bring. Whales of Gold raises questions about how to conserve habitat and species in a way that also sustains the livelihoods of local people. Whales of Gold was named best documentary at the UFRAME and NEXT FRAME film festivals in 2009. Film Maker Lucia Duncan will introduce the film and take questions following the screening. Ms. Duncan has produced and directed films in the U.S., Mexico, and Brazil about topics such as labor, immigration, tourism, culture, and the environment. Her films have screened at festivals worldwide and have received awards from the International Documentary Association, CINE, the International Labor Communications Association, and the Angelus Student Film Festival.

For those of you who celebrate Christmas, it is undoubtedly a time of year that can be filled with fun, family and an almost magical feeling that dates back to the nostalgia of our childhoods. It can also be stressful, commercialistic, and expensive. It seems every year at least a few people I know become full-blown Scrooges, bah humbugging about the lines at the malls and the never-ending commercials.

If you have found that the Christmas spirit has become a bit drained from you, I think there is no better way to restore your interest in the holiday season than sitting down with a hot cup of cocoa, some fresh baked cookies and one of these Christmas classics. If these films don’t get you in a festive mood, maybe you will require more drastic measures (perhaps a visit from the ghost of Christmas past?).

While this list could have been far longer, I tried to stick to some of my all-time favorites. If you have a Christmas Classic that isn’t listed here, we’d love to hear about it in the comments box at the end of the article!

1. The Snowman

As with many holiday classics, “The Snowman” was a book before it was turned into a 26 minute animated film. As with the original children’s book, there are no words in this film, but it is artfully drawn and the music, composed by Howard Blake, is beautiful. It is no surprise that this short movie was nominated for an Academy Award.

If you’ve never seen “The Snowman”, I should warn you that it is quite sad in a way, and almost haunting in how the story is portrayed and the music is written. However, as a child I was addicted to watching this short film every winter and can still remember the theme music by heart. Still, I just suggest that you follow this holiday classic up with a comedy, which brings me to movie #2.

2. Elf

Will Ferrell stars in this undeniably ridiculous comedy as Buddy, a man who was raised by Elves in the North Pole before discovering that he was adopted and his biological father lives in New York City. Buddy takes a journey to meet his father, and hilarity ensues. The movie also features Zooey Deschanel as a romantic interest of the jovial man-elf, Buddy. While some people find Ferrell to be over the top, his role in this movie guarantees some laughs, and has quickly made “Elf” a Christmas favorite.

3. A Christmas Story

Although it was filmed in 1983, “A Christmas Story” is still one of those holiday classics that is inescapable. Whether it’s the TBS 24 hour marathon, or people quoting “You’ll shoot your eye out!”, this movie has a secured a spot in Christmas culture. The story is told from 9 year old Ralphie’s point of view, as he attempts to obtain his dream Christmas gift; a Red Ryder BB Gun. I love this movie, not only for it’s strange humor, but also because it really carries a sense of nostalgia for what it was like to be a kid during the holidays.

4. How the Grinch Stole Christmas

Based on yet another children’s book, you would have to be living under a rock to never had heard of, read, or seen Dr. Seuss’, “How the Grinch Stole Christmas”. Of course, there are two adaptations of this movie, both of which I enjoy for different reasons.

The 1966 animated special can be attributed for the song “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch” which takes me straight back to my childhood in an instant. This 26 minute animated classic is still considered to still be one of the best holiday specials out there.

Then of course, there is the 2000 big budget remake of this tale, which stars Jim Carey as the Grinch. The remake has mixed reviews, especially since it had to take many liberties with the plot in order to make it a feature length film. Still, I’ve found that it’s grown on me, and Carey makes a pretty good Grinch.

5. Miracle on 34th Street

Originally filmed in 1947, this Christmas Classic has undergone numerous remakes in the past. The original film won multiple Academy Awards, but it is really the festive tone of the story that makes it a classic. “Miracle of 34th Street” is about the real Santa Claus ending up as the Santa at a Macy’s department store in NYC.

If watching old films isn’t really your thing, there is also a great family friendly version that was made in 1994. This is the version of “Miracle on 34th Street” I watched every holiday season with my family, as it really draws upon the magic of the season. Additionally, much was changed from the original film line, making it more modern and easier to follow.

6. The Santa Clause

Unlike many Christmas classics that became more popular over time, “The Santa Clause” was an instant box office hit when it was released in 1994. This movie is very family friendly, and I fondly remember it as one of my father’s favorites as it had humor everyone in the household could enjoy. The movie stars Tim Allen as Scott Calvin, a regular guy until one Christmas Eve Santa falls from his rooftop and he is stuck replacing him.

The movie is both humorous and heartwarming as it features the themes of family and believing in the spirit of Christmas.

7. The Polar Express

I feel iffy about listing “The Polar Express” here because as a film I was never very into it, but as a children’s book by Chris Van Allsburg, reading it was a family tradition that I will never forget.

Still, my personal reservations about the movie aside, it has certainly adapted a cult following and had earned itself the name of Christmas Classic. The story of “The Polar Express” is truly a magical one that can capture any child’s imagination. The movie follows a little boy who boards a train called the “Polar Express” which takes him to the North Pole on Christmas Eve. The film was done with motion-capture computer animation technology, which gives it a very distinct look and makes this a good family Christmas film.

8. A Christmas Carol

Written originally as a novella by Charles Dickens, this Christmas tale is by far the most well known and beloved. It has been portrayed in numerous films, plays, musicals and even as an opera. Most people already know the plot of this tale, so I won’t bore you with the details; the story of Scrooge and the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Yet to Come have become part of our culture!

If you’re considering renting or buying some version of A Christmas Carol, you’ll find yourself faced with quite a bizarre variety of options. There is the classic, kid friendly, “Mickey’s Christmas Carol” from 1983. These is also “The Muppet Christmas Carol”, which is one of my absolute favorites but hard to find.

There are also numerous live filmed adaptations and made for TV versions, such as TNT’s 1999 “A Christmas Carol” which starred Patrick Stewart. Of course, at this point in time, the most popular version of “A Christmas Carol” is Disney’s animated version from 2009. While it has gotten mixed reviews, I find the visuals to be exhilarating and like that it’s both funny and frightening at different points.

Whichever version you choose to watch, “A Christmas Carol” is yuletide must!

9. The Nightmare Before Christmas

I have gotten into many arguments about whether “The Nightmare Before Christmas” is a Halloween movie or a Christmas movie. I’d like to contend that it’s both, and it is hands down my favorite movie to watch around the holidays. Created by Tim Burton, this stop motion film is dark and certainly not jovial in the way most holiday films are. When Jack Skellington of Halloween Town discovers Christmas Town, he is fascinated by the holiday and decides to try his hand at being Santa Claus. It’s strange story line with creepy visuals, but all these things make it a great pick for those of you who don’t love uplifting, heartwarming tales.

Despite the dark cinematography and twisted Tim Burton touch, “The Nightmare Before Christmas” is both funny, visually stunning and largely entertaining, with a great soundtrack and musical numbers written by Danny Elfman.

10. It’s a Wonderful Life

Released in 1946, this holiday film is certainly a classic in the length of time it’s endured. While it’s admittedly a bit sappy, it’s a timeless tale of a man who is down on his luck and wants to die, when an angel intervenes and shows him the importance of his life.

It’s a touching tale that takes place on Christmas Eve, and if you’ve never seen it I suggest overcoming any issues you may have with black and white films and checking it out. You’ll be glad to finally know what people are talking about when they say, “every time a bell rings an angel gets his wings”!

It’s pretty much a known fact that the end of the world will occur on December 21st, 2012. There is no escaping it. The Maya Calendar ends on that day, so obviously some asteroid will hit the earth or aliens will invade four days before Christmas. Because I care so much about my fellow humans I’m buying up houses for $100 each and anything else of value for pennies on the dollar. I know, I’m a fool for buying such worthless items with only few weeks until the end, but that’s the kind of guy I am. For those looking to enjoy your last few weeks, I’ve come up with a bucket list of must do things in the Great New Bedford Area.

1. Ride the Mechanic Whale at Libad’s – Bring a group of friends to Libad’s on a Friday night and ride the mechanical whale. For the especially adventurous, give the Libad staff the secret code word “ride the whale of death” and they will pull the lever that opens the spiked moat filled with angry piranhas.

2. Rock Climb at Carabiner’s – This is mostly for the people afraid of heights. Skip the kiddy climbs and jump right into the the tallest top-rope climbs in the indoor rock climbing facility. For the brave climbers, ask your belayer to let you down like a Navy S.E.A.L assaulting a terrorist camp from a helicopter.

3. Take the Hot Wing Challenge at Rose Alley Ale House – Rose Alley Ale House offers a “suicide” wing challenge. Throw down 14 blazing hot wings in 20 minutes and get your name on the wall-of-fame, or go for the record of 20 wings in 11 minutes set by local legend Nick Dompierre. It’s the end of the world, so woman up and thrown down 20 wings because the wall-of-fame will only be there for a few more weeks.

4. Go a Few Rounds in The UFC Style Octagon – Head down to the Hematoma Fight Club on 109-125 West Rodney French Boulevard and go a few rounds in the UFC-Style Octagon. For those feeling super reckless, challenge the 397-pound silverback gorilla Josh to a “two men enter, one man leaves” steel cage match.

5. Spend the Night in Salem or the Lizzie Borden Bed and Breakfast with a Ouija Board – First, head over to Wal-Mart and pick up the finest made in China Ouija board. Then either head to Fall River’s Lizzie Borden Bed and Breakfast or to the witch-slaying grounds in Salem, Massachusetts. For the brave (or stupid), crack some Lizzie Borden jokes in Fall River or Witch jokes in Salem and then continue to repeat, “That’s all you got?” when mysterious things start happening.

6. Explore New Bedford’s Underground Road – New Bedford played a prominent role in the Underground Railroad system that helped bring so many slaves to the north. Full details with monuments and maps can be found here: http://www.nbhistoricalsociety.org/historictrails.html.

7. Give A Romantic Kiss to the Girl/Guy of Your Dreams – Watch the movie An Officer and a Gentlemen and head over to that special lady’s workplace that you’ve been Facebook stalking for the past year. If you have a buddy in the military borrow his military service dress uniform for a higher probability of success.

8. Do Stand Up Comedy  – Prepare some of your best jokes and convince some local bar or coffee shop to let you do some stand up comedy. Bring a basket of rotten fruit and make fun of the biggest, baddest looking hecklers.

9. Learn to Tango or Salsa Dance – If you pull off that romantic kiss and you don’t get slapped, invite the girl to a salsa or tango dance lesson.

10. Cut your Own Christmas Tree – Forget the Charlie Brown Christmas tree. It’s the end of the world so there is no need to worry about the environment or trees that provide you life sustaining oxygen. Bring your own axe and chop a tree down like you’re Lizzie Borden and just got dumped, or Abe Lincoln striking down a racist Vampire.

11. Learn all the Portuguese Swears – If you live in New Bedford and don’t know any Portuguese swears, you’re missing out. Once you’ve learned some curse words head over to your favorite Portuguese bakery or sports club and talk smack about their Portuguese soccer teams.

12. Pick a Fight with a Kung Fu Grand Master in China Town – After a few rounds of sparring in the UFC Octagon you are now ready to challenge a Kung Fu Grand Master. Drive up to the China Town in Boston, head into the first Kung Fu school you can find and tell the instructor that your Monkey Style will defeat his Tiger Claw.

13. Buy a Zorb Ball and Roll Around Buttonwood Park – It’s the end of the world, so there is no reason to penny pinch. A Zorb ball is like an outdoor hamster wheel for humans, but in a air-cushioned bubble. Run around chasing dogs and kids like a crazed bubble boy. Check out eBay for some amazing Zorb deals.

14. Order the Blowfish Sushi – Give a call to one of the local sushi spots and see if you can special order the blowfish sushi. As I learned from the Simpsons, if prepared incorrectly it can cause sickness or even death, but at this point it’s worth the risk.

Zombies are more popular than ever. The Walking Dead is one of the most popular shows on TV, Brad Pitt’s World War Z comes out next year and Zombie style video games are extremely popular. In the event of a zombie apocalypse, most of the population will become Zombie food. With some skills and lots of luck, some of us just may survive the biters. Here is my list of 12 categories of people that will become zombie food right away. They will make up the horde of zombies the survivors will battle to stay alive.

1. Dumb Celebrities – The Paris Hiltons of the world will be the first to become zombie food. Paris Hilton will think there is a major Halloween party going on outside and try to make out with the hot zombies.

2. Pacifists – Giving zombies a hug and trying to find the good in them will get you eaten real quick. Remove pacifists from your group immediately. They will just suck up valuable resources and while fighting for your life against a zombie they will refuse to knock the zombie off you.

3. Baggy Pants Wearing Gangster – Have fun sprinting in those baggy, low-wearing pants!

4. Obese Hoveround Drivers – Let’s face it, if you are so big that you require a Hoveround electric wheelchair to get you around you have several problems. First, the roads will be littered with hazardous obstacles. Getting around will be impossible. Second, while brain damaged, zombies will have basic eating habits. The bigger plumb, easy to grab humans will feed a small pack of zombies for days. Hoveround Drivers are a zombie jackpot!

5. Anti-Gun Law Proponents – Refusing to have a gun is trouble, never learning how to shoot one will result in death.

6. Late Night Gamers – This is like flipping a coin. If the zombie apocalypse starts from 5 a.m. to 12 p.m. the gamers that stay up until 5 a.m. playing Call of Duty or WOW are likely to get bitten in their sleep. They will simply sleep through the chaos. Even if the zombie apocalypse kicks off during their waken hours, not even a hungry zombie can break them away from a record 36 hour gaming marathon.

7. The High Rise Tower Residents – The infection will start at street level and move its way up the floors. The families on the first few levels may have enough notice to get out of the building and find a better place to hold up. The families at the top are out of luck and will have to fight their way down. Plus fires will become common places and it will suck to be on the top floor battling zombies and fires.

8. Alcoholics and Drug Users – The time to need an intervention is not during a zombie apocalypse. If you are either drunk, stoned or going through withdrawals, you are in no state to be battling zombies.

9. Those that live in the heart of big cities – Same principle as the high tower residents. The last place you want to be is in a big city with huge populations. If you are in the center of a major city, you will have to battle your way out against millions of zombies and all roads will become parking lots.

10. Runway Models – Let’s face it, if you are already malnourished and weak at the start of the zombie apocalypse, you have little chance of survival. The only benefit of being skin and bones is that the zombies will run past you to chase down the obese hoveround drivers and the baggy pants wearing gangsters. Zombie instinct will dictate they go for the larger and easier meals.

11. The Past His Prime Jock – We all know a former high school star athlete. They go through life letting you know all the touchdowns they scored 20 years ago. A zombie apocalypse is a perfect time to relive that former glory. Unwisely, they will head into battle on day one and bravely take on large hordes. The likely scenario is swinging a large wrench at the first zombie, pulling a hamstring and quickly getting sacked by a group of zombies.

12. The Line Campers– The most annoying people on the list are the Line Campers. They wait in tents for three days for an iPhone, a hit movie or a $100 flat screen TV on for Black Friday. They will see people running by screaming that people are being eating alive, but they are too smart to fall for that trick. Even when the zombies start eating The Line Campers, they will refuse to leave the line and try to complain to the retail staff that some zombie cut their place in line.

Herman Melville Family Day celebrates the 193rd birthday of the famed author of “Moby-Dick” at the New Bedford Whaling Museum on Saturday, July 28 from 10:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. with free children’s activities indoors and out, including a whale of a birthday cake.

The annual celebration features special guests, art, music, poetry, and story reading for children 12 years and younger and takes place in the Jacobs Family Gallery and museum plaza. Regular admission applies to museum galleries.

Children’s arts and crafts activities scheduled from 10:00 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. include creating soap scrimshaw, sailors’ valentines, whale hats, bookmarks and magnets.

Kids can also make their own floatable toy model of Captain Ahab’s ship, Pequod. Wading pools on the plaza will allow young shipwrights to test their vessel’s seaworthiness before they take them home.

At 2:00 p.m. kids of all ages are invited to join in a “Happy Birthday” sing-along and enjoy a slice of birthday cake.

Special activities include: 10 am to 11am, Moby-Dick tour; 10:30 am to 12:30 pm, Harpoon throwing contest; 11 am to 1 pm, Kids’ poetry workshop; 11:30 am, Special reading of Moby-Dick (popup version); 11:30 am to 12:30 pm, Go below deck on the Lagoda; 11:30 am to 12:30 pm, Learn sea chanteys while weighing anchor; 11:30 am to 1:00 pm, Blubber tossing; 12:30 pm to 1:30 pm, Take your photo next to a sperm whale; 12:30 pm to 1:30 pm, Go on a whaling voyage aboard the Lagoda with Captain C. Weade; 1:30 pm, Happy Birthday sing-along and birthday cake.

Regular admission rates apply to programming in the museum galleries, including the Moby-Dick tour, Lagoda Below Deck tour, Weighing Anchor, and Captain C. Weade.

Children must be accompanied by an adult. Drawings to win family memberships will be given throughout the day. The Museum Store will also hold a summer tent sale.

The New Bedford Whaling Museum is the world’s most comprehensive museum devoted to the global story of whales, whaling and the cultural history of the region. The cornerstone of New Bedford Whaling National Historical Park, the Museum is located at 18 Johnny Cake Hill in the heart of the city’s historic downtown. For events: www.whalingmuseum.org.

New Bedford’s whaling days come alive all summer with Ruth and Abby, two New Bedford women from the 1850s ladies. You can listen as they discuss the issues of the day, chat with them about life in the 1850s, or make vintage crafts with them. They will be strolling the streets, picnicking in the park, and even playing a rousing game of croquet! The ladies offer these free programs Thursday through Sunday from July 12 through September 2. The park visitor center is located at 33 William Street in downtown New Bedford.

On Thursdays evenings, from 5:00-6:30, just before the weekly concert at 7:30 PM, they’ll be chatting with visitors in the park garden about almost any topic you can think of. On Friday afternoons, from 11:00 AM-2:00 PM, they will be picnicking in and around the visitor center area. Bring your lunch and talk about whatever’s on your mind. On Saturday mornings, from 10 AM-12:00 noon, Ruth and Abby stroll the streets of downtown New Bedford. From 12:00-2:00 PM on Saturdays, they offer hands-on, fun crafts that complement the maritime craft demonstrations during that same time. On Sunday afternoons, from 2:00-4:00 PM, the ladies play croquet and other lawn games (weather permitting). All of these programs are free and open to the public.