To find out how New Bedford you are, give yourself 1 point for each of the following that apply to you then tally your score and see below:

• You know where “A Dead Whale Or A Stove Boat” is engraved
• You knew that the downtown public library was once the city hall
• You’ve attended the Portuguese Feast for four straight days
• You’ve worn pajama pants in public to run a quick errand
• You’ve visited the New Bedford Whaling Museum
• You’ve bragged that the movie Passionada was filmed in New Bedford
• You have seen Ruth or Emily more than once
• You knew that Fort Taber (named after New Bedford Mayor Issac C. Taber) and Fort Rodman ( Named after Lt. Col. William Logan Rodman of New Bedford killed in the Civil War) are both technically correct names for the fort.
• You’ve visited the Schooner Ernestina
• You’ve attended a Cape Verdean parade
• You have a Portuguese, French or Cape Verdean last name
• Off the top of your head you can name at least one fishing vessel
• You love scallops
• You know what a Tire Garden is
• You’ve ridden the mechanic bull/whale at Libad’s
• You know what a bath tub Jesus is
• You’ve seen Joe Jesus dressed as Elvis
• The word “Sunbeam” makes you smell bread, not think of the sun
• You’ve gotten a hug from Phil Paleologos (either physical or radio)
• You’ve been photo bombed by Butler Flats Lighthouse
• You’ve lost at least 10 hours of your life to the New Bedford/Fairhaven Bridge
• You’ve been asked if you have change for a $20 downtown
• You can name at least three former mayors
• You’ve “cruised the Ave.”
• You’ve had 1 a.m. breakfast at the Golden Greek
• You own at least one Spinner Publication book
• You’ve run the New Bedford Half Marathon
• You know what AHA stands for

23 or more points: Whaling City Ambassador – You are a wealth of knowledge and likely grew up in New Bedford. You get out a lot and could easily work for the tourism office or give a tour of the historic park.

11-22 points: Seasoned Traveler – You have some general knowledge about the city and likely attend the major events.

1-10 points: Tourist/Hermit – Let me give you directions to the Visitors’ Center. It’s located on 33 William Street.

If you’re reading this article chances are you are familiar with Downtown New Bedford and its many charms; the nearby working waterfront, the delicious restaurants and the quaint cobblestone streets.  In fact, if you are a frequent visitor of New Bedford, these sites might have become almost commonplace to you.  Yet there is one weekend in the year that even for those of us who work and live downtown, the streets becomes nearly unrecognizable to our eyes.

That weekend is the New Bedford Folk Festival and it is a time when those quaint cobblestone streets become filled with colorful arts and crafts vendors as food carts fill the air with savory aromas and vibrant music can be heard all around.  On average, 3,000 people buy tickets to the musical events and an estimated 10-20,000 people roam the streets buying goods and food.  If you’ve never been it is a sight to behold as it draws in talent and spectators from all over the world.

The 2014 New Bedford Folk Festival will take place the weekend of July 5th and 6th and while the talent is still being announced there are already some headliners of note that make the very affordable ticket price a worthy investment.  This year the New Bedford Guide is a proud media sponsor, and thus this article will hit upon some of the major things you’ll want to know about this year’s fest.

1. The Music

As with every year, the New Bedford Folk Festival brings a variety of different types of folk music to the stage.  This year there will be close to 50 bands performing throughout the weekend. Taking a look at the bands that have already been listed to the website it is clear that there’s great diversity in the style of sound.  Participating acts range from traditional jug bands to singer/songwriters to Celtic folk.  Festival organizer Alan Korolenko expressed that the festival tries to integrate folk sounds from around the world, including French Canadian music, “something which isn’t really heard around here despite the prevalence of French Canadian history in this region”.

While there are already many bands of note, a couple exciting new “roots” additions are drawing attention.  One is Poor Old Shine, a band that was described by the New York Times as “a roots band with a grassroots ethos” and features an eclectic mixture of instruments such as mandolins, the stand up bass and pump organs.  Another interesting act is Spuyten Duyvil, a 7-piece band with great energy and a traditional sound that dates back to over 100 years.

Of course, the two names that immediately draw attention for folk music fans are Jonathan Edwards and Chris Smither.  Edwards is best known for his Gold Record winner “Sunshine” but has 4 decades of musical experience, has recorded 15 albums and has collaborated with musical greats such as Jimmy Buffet.  Smither has had an equally long and storied career, including a close friendship with the legendary Bonnie Raitt who covered two of his songs, “Love Me Like a Man” and “I Feel the Same”.

In addition to the acts that you will see on stage all weekend, the fest integrates something they refer to as “workshops” and these are what make the New Bedford Folk Festival one-of-a-kind. These workshops are essentially jam sessions in which musicians from different bands come together and improvise based on a prompt or style given to them.  For music lovers, this is a rare treat as you can experience the raw talent and creativity of these artists.  This year, a couple established themes for the workshops include a tribute to Pete Seeger and a tribute to the Everly Brothers.

To read more about the musical performances and to see video clips of the performers, go to newbedfordfolkfestival.com/videos/.  To stay up to date on the newest acts as they are added go to the festival’s Facebook page: facebook.com/NewBedfordFolkFestival.

2. The Crafts

Aside from the vibrant musical atmosphere found at the Folk Festival, the event features nearly 100 artisans who display their wares throughout the streets from 11 am to 7 pm.  Items being sold will include; art, jewelry, furniture, decor and much more.  It’s a great chance to purchase unique items that you cannot find anywhere else.  Vendors are still being encouraged to submit applications to sell their goods, so if you or anyone you know is interested click here (http://www.newbedfordfolkfestival.com/food-crafts-2/) for more information!

3. The Food

Of course, no festival is complete without food and beverage offerings.  In years past street vendors and food trucks have sold a variety of delicious items that range from snacks to full out BBQ and even seafood and vegetarian options.  The event also features beer and wine sales for those who like to enjoy an adult beverage whilst taking in the sights and sounds.

The list of food vendors is still being finalized, but you can always be assured that Downtown New Bedford does not lack great restaurants, cafes and bars for you to stop into to grab a drink or a bite to eat.  Location wise, the festival could not be better positioned for foodies.

4. Tickets, Time, Location and Parking

Tickets will be priced the same as last year and will go on sale in April.  The “We Love New Bedford” tickets can only be purchased at the Whaling Museum or the Zeiterion Theatre and are discounted at $15 for the weekend pass.  These special tickets allow more of the local community to attend and be involved.  Tickets purchased online are $21 for the weekend pass if purchased in advance.  They rise to $25 if purchased closer to the date.

This year’s festival will also feature a VIP ticket option.  Festival organizer Alan Korolenko explained that many attendees wish to contribute to the event in a greater way, and this is how they can do so.  VIP tickets are $100 each and will give patrons reserved seating, discounts at participating restaurants and other goodies like a festival tee-shirt.  Korolenko noted that the reserved seating is especially beneficial for assuring seating at the Whaling Museum workshops, which tend to fill up quickly.

The festival starts at 11 am on Saturday July 5th and the Zeiterion Theatre and outdoor stages will feature music all day until around 6:30 PM when the music will move into the Zeiterion Theatre, wrapping the night up at around 9:30 PM.  The same schedule will occur on Sunday July 6th.

The New Bedford Folk Festival will once more take place right in the heart of Downtown in the region known as New Bedford Whaling National Historical Park.  Several stages are located throughout the downtown region, all within walking distance of each other.  Click here to see the festival map (newbedfordfolkfestival.com/festival-map/).

Parking is free at both the Elm Street Parking Garage and the Zeiterion Theatre.

For the latest updates on music, vendors and ticket sales like the New Bedford Folk Festival Facebook page (facebook.com/NewBedfordFolkFestival).

There’s plenty of reminiscing about old South Coast hangouts, from Lincoln Park to the Bijou Theater to legendary jazz clubs in Onset. As a transplant, the best I can do is pretend I get it. While I can’t relive its good ‘ole days, I’d like to think I pick up on local nuances just because I’m not originally from around here.

Here is my list of 11 quintessential local traits that I was clueless about until I moved here seven years ago and counting (Putting whaling and all that jazz aside):

1.”Wicked” as an Adjective Equivalent to “Very”: Don’t roll your eyes. Yes, I had heard it in movies set in Boston and a certain New Kids on the Block SNL skit and Car Talk on NPR. But from a live human being as a regular part of conversation? Nope. I still do a double take when my kids inject that in a conversation.

2. Quahogs and the New England Clam Bake: Never knew about quahogs and the art of dredging them from the seafloor. (It was more fun than I expected when I actually got to do it). Had the sad distinction of misspelling the word “Co-Hog” in a weekly newspaper article. Yep: Most. Embarrassing. Moment. Ever. As for clam bakes? Haven’t mustered the courage to try them yet (Disclaimer: I’m from a landlocked state).

3. Enunciation, Pronouncing Local Words: People didn’t know what the hell I was talking about when I asked about rentals in “FAIR-haven” and not “fair-HAVEN”. And why do people pronounce Coggeshall with a Z sound? It took me two years to pronounce Acushnet right–not to mention Mattapoisett, which at first I pronounced in a deranged French way. Oh, and I didn’t realize they rent places without major appliances like stoves and refrigerators until I moved in–Oops!

4. Portuguese Influence: I had no clue about this Portuguese enclave. Never heard of Linguica or Chourico. Never had fresh fig until my Portuguese landlord gave me one from his backyard tree, which he insulated well enough that it survived the winter.

5. “You’re Welcome” as One Word: It’s oddly delightful, the sing-songy “Yo-Welcom” I hear from clerks and the like.

6. Annual Town Meeting: I honestly hardly knew who the Board of Selectmen were when I first got here, and the annual town meeting felt like a portal to the 17th century. I’ll never forget the resounding “Aye!” booming from hundreds of people at the town meeting. Democracy at its best!

7. A Place Where Being Anonymous Ain’t Gonna Happen: I remember freaking out when I ran into my neighbor working as a pharmacist within a week of arriving. Once when walking to an interview in Onset, TWO cars pulled up and asked who I was looking for. Apparently it was obvious I didn’t belong there. When I finally told one woman, she said, “Oh, that’s my nephew!”–true story. Also, it’s impossible going out for an extended period of time without seeing a familiar face.

8. Cranberry Bogs: Aside from a vague memory of seeing a photo of one, I knew nothing about cranberry bogs. And before you call me ignorant, I’ve had several out-of-town guests who have confessed the same thing. But nothing like devouring a fresh cranberry during harvest season.

9. Massholes?: Say whatever you want about crime and gangs in New Bedford, for the most part people in the area are genuinely nice and willing to help you out. I remember a small army of neighbors assisting me when I locked myself out of the house. There is a chivalrous nature in the men around here.

10. The Fishing Industry: When I first moved here I supplemented my income working the overnight shift at a hotel. Yes, I was on the job when Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel descended on Fairhaven for a day. I cannot count how many drunk fisherman I met returning from weeks-long stints out at sea who talked about their broken families in the wee hours of the morning. And I also didn’t know that Guatemalan immigrants, many of them previously farmers, generally work the markets at this major U.S. fishing port.

11. NonTransient, But With a Twist: I’ve profiled dozens of local independent businesses as a freelancer, and I can’t tell you how many owners grew up here, lived somewhere else–then returned. “I always knew I wanted to come back” is a common line. And while plenty of folks here never move away (just read the obits, or notice that the road signs, cemetery headstones and phone book are filled with the same names), so many people leave for years then eventually return home, The Alchemist-style. That’s special.

There’s a brand new entertainment option coming to the South Coast. Well-known area developer Chester “Big Mac” MacDonald is still looking for a location for his latest venture, but hopes to begin construction some time this spring.

The new facility will be called EasyLand, and with it, MacDonald hopes to redefine leisure activity – or at least the “activity” part. Catering to tourists and anyone who wants a good time without breaking a sweat, EasyLand will feature several familiar amusements and pastimes, but without the effort so often required at existing facilities.

Plans include miniature golf, bowling and shopping. While we’ve all seen that before, EasyLand aims to make these staples of the leisure industry, well, easier.

For example, at a traditional miniature golf course, players walk from hole to hole. MacDonald thinks there is a better way. The EasyLand course (to be called EasyGolf) is designed so that each hole comes to the players.

“The entire mini-golf course will be set on three giant turntables,” said MacDonald. Golfers will be able to play a hole, step back onto a platform, sit on a provided couch and simply wait for the next hole to arrive right in front of them.

“There’s very little walking that way,” says MacDonald. “You’re pretty much standing still all the time you’re playing. We thought about golf carts, but decided that the turntable actually required less effort. You’d still have to get in and out of carts. We wanted to make it easier than that.”

Another feature of EasyLand will be a sit-down bowling alley, outfitted with special spring-loaded chairs that will allow bowlers to get all the english they want on the ball with almost none of the effort they’d need at traditional bowling venues. The chairs are designed to hold up to four hundred pounds, which will, according to MacDonald “open up the sport to many Americans who have been excluded due to poor bowling alley design.”

“A lot more people would get out there and bowl if it were a little less physically taxing. It takes a little practice, but once you get the hang of it, seated bowling is just plain more fun,” says MacDonald.

“And you won’t even have to walk to the snack bar – we’ll have waitress service. We’ve designed it so all you have to do is sit there and bowl. Which is what people want.”

But it doesn’t stop there.

MacDonald wanted to include batting cages at his new facility, but realized that typical cages wouldn’t quite fit his concept.

“Those bats are kind of heavy, and it takes a lot of ‘oompf’ to hit a ball.” The solution? Wiffle ball batting cages.

“We tried it out,” says MacDonald, “and found that you can even hit a wiffle ball while sitting down, which will be an option – and a popular one at that, I’d bet. Being able to sit while you play is an important part of the overall concept of EasyLand. I think it will be a hit.”

There will also be a drive-thru gift shop for souvenir hunters and three drive-thru restaurants – an ice cream stand, a burger and fried-foods eatery and EasyLand’s signature dining facility, EasyBaconLand.

“We tried to make everything drive-thru – it just wasn’t possible,” said MacDonald. “But we’ll come pretty close.”

Plans do include a free shuttle from the parking lot to the entrance, however.

EasyLand will have an educational aspect as well, which MacDonald felt was “important” – The EasyMuseum, which will feature exhibits such as Recliners Through the Years, The History of the Remote Control and 101 Things You Can Do While Lying Down.

“It’ll be very much an interactive experience for visitors,” said MacDonald. “They’ll travel through the exhibits on a people-mover, but they can get off anywhere they like and rest. Visitors will be able to sit in the recliners, for instance, or use the remote controls – but I think the 101 Things exhibit will draw the most interest.“

“There really are more activities than you might think that you can do while lying down. We’ll bring that all to light with such displays as The Internet: Supine Surfing, Recumbent Recycling and Prone Word Processing,” said MacDonald. “This exhibit will open up a whole new world to those who have been just plain working too hard at daily life – and they’ll be having fun while they learn.”

“Easyland will be a truly unique recreational facility, designed to fit into the modern lifestyle.”

MacDonald hopes to find a suitable property soon, but admits, “I haven’t been working very hard at it.”

Guess that goes with the territory.

One of the most difficult endeavors a person can undertake these days, is to lose weight or take up a fitness program. There is a mass of incoming information -often conflicting- that can be overwhelming. Books, websites, social media, radio, TV all bombard us with the latest trend or fad; telling us one day that something is good for you and the next that it’s not! It’s tough to get into to mindset and motivation to exercise, when you are deep in the sea of lacking them!

Beyond trends, fads, and the glut of information, the single most common thread among success stories that I have personally seen in almost 30 years of exercising -half of that coaching- is ATMOSPHERE. It’s not enough to be knowledgeable and qualified – though that is mandatory. People will gravitate towards and stick with a trainer or facility full of positive, motivating, energetic, magnetic coaches. Using logic as the stick or carrot, simply won’t work.

Being in the exercise business myself, I’m always trying to keep current on sports science & psychology, new facilities, coaches, and anecdotes. There are a fair number of world class facilities in the area, and New Bedford Guide wants to promote a healthy lifestyle – exercise, dietary habits, and more – so we plan on bringing a number of them to our readers in the coming weeks and months!

I have had a number of friends in the past year, who have whipped themselves into shape. When I asked about the source of the change, I heard over and again “Boutique,” meaning Boutique Fitness. They are located in the Coffin Building on 516 Pleasant Street, across from the Bristol County Probate Court. Co-owners Lara Harrington (ISSA*, ACSM*, Head trainer) and Angela Corrieri-Johnson (ISSA, PN*) have made waves in the region’s health and fitness world in their short 2 year existence. That’s astounding, to say the least.

There’s a reason for that: the energetic, positive atmosphere that I mentioned, practical, tangible results, and world class instruction. The ladies specialize in private and small group fitness training. There’s no getting assigned a number and being lost in a massive group, relegated to anonymity. The more intimate, private and small group instruction, means an integral and effective element is always present: perpetual feedback. They get to not only know your name, goals, and objectives, but create a prescription, customized program combining a variety of specific health and fitness methodologies that work best for you, and only you. On your first day, you will go through a fitness assessment and movement analysis, so they know EXACTLY what will be most effective for you. They then follow up with retests every 6-8 weeks, to maintain that all-important feedback.

It’s not a shotgun or cookie cutter approach. This takes more time and effort from the coach, but has significant, speedy results.

The ladies of Boutique Fitness -assisted by trainers Niki Harrington (ISSA) and Erin Carr (ISSA, TRX*, TWF*)- combine a multi-pronged, balanced approach of strength & conditioning exercises, stretches, diet counseling, nutritional coaching in 2-3 times per week, 30 minute long sessions. Kettlebells, Swiss ball, dumbbells, bodyweight exercises, cables, and Plyometrics are just some of the methods and tools you may encounter. This variety keeps you on your toes and you never have a dull workout. While the exercises will become familiar, their cadence, combination, and spontaneity in execution, will keep you motivated and your interest piqued – which promotes constant progress!

The pros at Boutique have not only helped a number of my friends (Hi Sandi!), but they have helped hundreds of others in the area kick butt! You don’t have to take my word for it, as you can visit their testimonials page, which is comprised of textual and photo testimonials – including “before and afters.”

Having said all that, you don’t have to be someone that needs to get in shape to enjoy what they have to offer. If you are already in shape and a more serious athlete, who is looking to add another element to your routine you will, find a happy home there. If you are interested in seeing more of what the pros at Boutique do, you can browse their YouTube Page, or better yet, contact them and book your complimentary consultation.

Boutique Fitness uses all the major social media outlets (regularly updated), maintains a web page, a bunch of recipes, rates, photos, videos, a stellar blog and more. They are open Monday through Friday: 5:30 am – 7:30 pm, and Saturday from 6:00 am – 12:00 pm. Whether you want to be able to squeeze into an old pair of jeans, t-shirt or bikini or looking to seriously challenge yourself athletically, you’ll find world class coaches and instruction, in a world-class environment!

Boutique Fitness
516 Pleasant St. #104
New Bedford, Massachusetts 02740
Phone: (774) 202-4688
Email: fitness@boutiquefitness.com
Facebook: facebook.com/boutiquefitnessnb
Twitter: twitter.com/boutiquefitnb
Website: boutiquefitnessnb.com

*Credentials Guide
ISSA=International Sports Science Association
ACSM=American College of Sports Medicine
PN=Precision Nutrition
TRX=Suspension Training Bodyweight Exercise Certification
TWF=True Warrior Fitness

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by Jordis Brown

Oversharing on Facebook is that elephant in the room that no one wants to directly talk about but you’ll gladly repost a funny meme having to do with it. “Dirty laundry goes in the hamper not on your Wall”. I think we can all agree that there are several different types of Facebook sharing that is better left offline. Let’s address a few:

“Selfies”
Typically taken with a smart phone, this is a practice done by many. Almost everyone has taken a selfie at one point or another. But how many is too many? Well if you feel the need to take and post a picture of yourself daily, sometimes multiple times a day, you may in fact be annoying. With captions such as “I’m bored” “Bad hair day” or “Just chillin” you really help aid in the opinion of others in thinking that this person has a really high opinion of their self. I’ve learned in the past that when a friend post a picture and says “I’m fat” they don’t want you commenting on where they can find a good gym! They either want you to lie to them or hate them a little for thinking 118lbs is somehow overweight.

“I’m in love”
I think after the first 20 posts expressing how madly in love you are, that your friend’s list gets it. You are in love and he or she is “the one.” We’ll ignore the fact that Facebook has a timeline and you said the same thing six months ago with someone else.

We’ll even ignore that fact that your ex is either on your friend’s list or you share friends and this seems oddly reminiscent of high school antics to make your former partner jealous. Maybe I’ve outgrown the need to prove to others that my relationship is on solid ground and we’re eachothers soulmates. Or I just don’t want to make single friends feel bad. Real relationships are not perfect and full of sunshine and happiness. So if you’re only posting about how wonderful things are there is a better chance than not that you are being dishonest.

“Politics overkill”
You and everyone else who has an awareness of the world around them has taken sides with a political view and feels the need to share it. That’s fine. It’s our right to express our opinions and almost our duty to stand by our beliefs. But if your other posts are of bar hopping, complaining about your parents giving you a curfew at 21yrs old or if you are the type that ‘chooses’ not to work or in anyway contribute to mainstream society…then there is a chance you are a poor representation for your convictions. Much like a ‘Jesus is my Co-Pilot’ bumper sticker on the car of someone who is driving recklessly doesn’t really want to make anyone subscribe to the faith.

“Look at my Kid!”
Okay first let me say that I do this all the time! I am damn proud of my children and find them to be the only beautiful thing I have and feel the need to share. It has its benefits. If I didn’t create albums on Facebook, I would lose many pictures that I’ve taken. Like so many others I failed to order prints and just simply upload them to my computer. I’m sure it’s annoying to see so many children/baby pictures filling up your newsfeed. Odds are, if you think that way, then you are one of two people…a non-parent or a detached parent who doesn’t see one’s child as the most amazing part of your life. Again, I’m biased here.

“So & So is a jerk”
Most of the time ranting about someone has to do with a relationship that ended badly. We’re on a social media because we like to share and network, so it’s only natural to post a few angry comments about someone who has done you wrong. It’s those that don’t shut up about it, that really need to find some other outlet. If it has to do with an ex and you go on and on about how he cheated on you while you were pregnant or how she hooked up with your best friend, you are creating a response from your friend’s list much like a Jerry Springer show audience. The support may give you a uplifting boost but don’t assume that when you reconcile that relationship and ‘forgive’ that person that your friends will do the same. If anything, they may see you in a whole new light and it’s not in your favor.

Oversharing is just part of social media. The great thing about facebook which may save your sanity and perhaps some friendships, is as easy as a settings change. Just click unfollow.

by Jordis Brown

There is nothing more annoying than hearing “the only reason you are not in shape is because YOU don’t want it enough”!

We see it on TV and now online. We hear it from pompous relatives or newly in shape strangers. There is nothing that is going to bother me more than that sentence. They are all right. I have a million excuses, some very viable, on why I’m not where I should be physically. The overall truth is I haven’t wanted to be in shape enough to commit to lifestyle changes. It’s hard work!

First I have to break habits then I have to install new ones. Habits that have been there for YEARS! Although there is no cookie cutter method to getting in shape there are some obvious things that need to happen to help the process along.

Eating right for one. There are a million diet plans out there and several food substitutes/shakes, etc. that promise to either help you lose weight or give you the nutritional needs right for your body. I couldn’t tell you which one to follow. The truth is any commitment to paying attention to your intake is going to work.

I was Certified in Nutrition many years ago and what I pretty much took from that was how to read a label. Years pass and what doctors can agree on in regards to what we need or can or cannot have changes. The best you can do to help yourself is to understand if there is a pattern in the foods you eat (are they high in sugar, sodium, etc). Read the labels. There are great online sites like sparkpeople.com or even the government site for the food pyramid which allows you to enter the foods you eat (listing many popular brands) and breaks down your nutritional intake. At the end of the day it shows you what you are either missing in your diet or getting too much of. Taking a log of what you eat is more important than what you might believe.

Honestly, you don’t always believe things till it’s in bold print in-front you. All free of charge.

Exercise. Kind of unavoidable. Just not exactly what you may think. This doesn’t mean that you need to hit the gym.

Truth is, if you’re not comfortable in a gym environment you’re not likely to go very often or stay as long as you should. Think of exercise as any physical activity. Walking is a very basic YET effective form of exercise. Swimming, also a great exercise that’s low impact and great for people just getting into shape. I doubt you own an indoor pool, if you do please comment with your number so I can be your new best friend.

The New Bedford YMCA has a great pool and gym. They even have financial assistance available and even if you do not qualify, many health insurances reimburse you for gym memberships. What if you don’t like to walk or swim or hit the gym? Do you like to climb? It’s the kid in every one of us that looks at a big rock or tree and thinks for a moment what the view might be like from the top. You couldn’t keep me from climbing up until I was a younger adult. Now I’m afraid that if I did scale a rockside I’d have to make a very uncomfortable 911 call that would go something like this…

“I’ll tell you where I am if you promise no sirens or lights. I just really need help getting down”

There’s an indoor facility like Carabiner where they hook you up and you can climb away without fear of gravity or broken shards of glass from teens on rocks. If so far none of these things are appealing then you really have to take another look at that aggravating statement

“The only reason you are not in shape is because YOU don’t want it enough”

Being out of shape isn’t a number on a scale, your reflection or what others think of you. It’s your ability to push your body without hitting a wall too early. It’s not being exhausted from walking around a store or too tired to play with your child. It’s being able not to hide in layers of clothing and being confident. When you are healthier physically you are healthier mentally. This is the key to happiness within yourself. Those annoying people who are active, eat right and smile all the time and legitimately happy. Don’t you want that for yourself?

I’m a little older this year. So are you. Time will not stop and wait for us to get our act together.

The Buttonwood Park Zoo will host a pancake breakfast on Sunday, March 16, 2014. St. Patty-Cakes Breakfast offers zoo visitors an opportunity to delight in delicious pancakes while also celebrating St. Patrick’s Day. After finishing mouthwatering pancakes, participants can explore the Zoo to see what all the animals are up to for the day. Everyone’s a weeeeee bit Irish, so join in the fun! The price for zoo members is $8 per adult and $5 per child. The price for non-members is $13 per adult and $10 per child and includes zoo admission. All children under 1 are free. Participants must pre-register and pre-pay by registering at www.bpzoo.org or by calling (508) 991-4556 x 18.

by Patrick Correia

I noticed a satirical article from the Rottenscallop.com about an intra-city tram coming to New Bedford and another that listed the city in the top ten destinations for creative, young people to relocate. At some point in the indeterminate future New Bedford will be the proud recipient of a train line to Boston and clipper to sunny Spain. It’s an amazing time to be a New Bedfordian, but you guys need better transit. You have to get that trolley! In my head that sounded cooler. Like I was in Boardwalk Empire. What? Like you’re always funny?

Tourism will increase to the area with the commuter rail line, but that tourism will be severely limited by the lack of real public transit. King’s Highway, to those on foot, is a glorified Airport station with a Wendy’s down the street. I doubt they’d have heard of Billy Boy Candy. We are still keeping that gem a secret, right? The only other station in the city will be where the current parking lot is for the Martha’s Vineyard Ferry.

The Downtown area will keep tourists in the pocket we’ve labeled historical. They will not take a bus to the forts, restaurants, parks, beaches, or Gary’s Best. Tourists fear buses like I fear nuns. The bus stops don’t have shelters and the system as a whole shuts down at 8:30. It’s like asking an entire city to drive drunk. That or you walk home and ruin someone’s comfortable lawn.

The country is turning rapidly back to walkable cities and passenger rail. The younger generation is less likely to own a car or even get a license. I imagine SRTA would not be on board with this idea. In fact, I don’t think the city or residents would be all that keen on a concept that may steal parking places and cost precious tax dollars. It’s a small price to pay for increased infrastructure. We’re a nation lacking in this faculty to a disgusting degree. Ever looked up the state of American bridges? That’s scary. Nun-scary.

A trolley could cover a huge swath of the population by simply running one line north to south. Let’s remember that the residential area is basically 1 mile wide. Imagine a trolley running from Coggeshall Street in the North, along Rt. 18, down Rodney French Boulevard past the beaches, and looping back at Fort Rodman.

Having a reasonable number of stops along the route would spawn commercial interests. There could be a revitalization of the Orpheum theater and rapid increase in downtown’s already impressive growth. Shops would return.. Real, honest-to-god shops! You could cover your Christmas shopping without the sadistic lighting of the Dartmouth Mall.

Jobs and affordable transit to said occupations could facilitate an economic boom for New Bedfordites. The line could be built by New Bedford unions and stations designed by area artists, partially funded by local businesses. As it stands a majority of the population travels outside of the city to work. This is a great strain on the individual, environment, and local economy.

A rail isn’t a bus for a lot of reasons, but, most importantly, it’s a solid commitment to a neighborhood and its people. New Bedford is a population struggling and stubborn. This isn’t a magical dream. This is a foundation that brings foot traffic. It’s something our grandparents road around town. You could save money on gas! And you could power the whole thing with a wind turbine off the coast… O shit. One thing at a time.

by Jennifer Hollie Bowles

New England weather can be brutal on skin with its many changes – often within one day alone! Any exposed skin gets assaulted by the severe weather. Traditional skin care products, however, are usually loaded with chemicals!

Here’s a sample list of chemicals that are found in most skin care products: Dioxin – a component of PEGs (polyethylene glycol) and emulsifiers, classified as environmental pollutants with horrible side-effects such as cancer, miscarriage, reduced immunity, and nervous system disorders. Triclosan – a synthetic antibacterial agent, which is listed by the EPA as a pesticide that is harmful to human health. DMDM Hydantoin & Urea – toxic preservatives that release formaldehyde, which has been linked to cancer, depression, chronic fatigue, and chest pains. The effects of just breathing formaldehyde have been widely studied and proven to be harmful! From propylene glycol to FD&C color (synthetic colors made out of coal tar), traditional skin products are unhealthy! In 2013, the Huffington Post published a video about the thousands of toxic ingredients found in beauty products. For a natural alternative to these unhealthy commercial products, take a look at the list below:

1. – Coconut Oil: Coconut Oil is a wonder oil. Not only is a great for high-heat cooking (without GMOs,), organic cold-pressed coconut oil can be applied directly into dry skin and even hair. It hydrates, softens, and moisturizes wonderfully. It is easy to find, economical, and carried at most drug stores and markets.
2. – Honey: This one is messier, but if you’ve been staying inside too much, you may have gotten dark circles under your eyes. If you gently rub honey around your eyes and let it sit for about thirty minutes, your eye skin will feel fantastic and look brighter immediately! You can also apply a honey mask all over your face to take advantage of the antioxidant and moisturizing properties of this gooey skin gem!
3. – Neem Oil: If you have combination or oily skin that doesn’t like the cold weather but is prone to break-out, neem oil is a fantastic choice. It’s used in ancient Ayurvedic medicine, and is an amazing hydrating, anti-bacterial oil that will clear-up and heal the most frustrated skin! I have a huge bottle of Neem Oil that I purchased online, but I suspect that the wonderful local Ervanaria Estrela shop in New Bedford will carry it!
4. – Exfoliation: When I first moved to New England, my skin was in shock because it was used to Southern living. At 35, my face skin had never been dry, but for the first time in my life, I saw dryness and even flakiness. I discovered that if I exfoliate my face (with a rag and firm strokes) for a couple of minutes every day and then apply the coconut oil, it never gets dry anymore. Don’t underestimate the power of getting rid of dead skin cells!
5. – Turmeric Mask: You want to go easy on the turmeric, but this is another trick from India. Mix about four tablespoons of flour with about a teaspoon of turmeric (less if you have very fair skin) and olive, coconut, or almond oil to make a good paste. Apply to your face and either gently scrub and rinse immediately, or leave on for about ten minutes. Be careful, though, as turmeric can stain your bathroom sink and your skin if you use too much or leave on too long. Turmeric is an anti-inflammatory wonder herb that is used medicinally for everything from arthritis and kidney disorders to diabetes and chemo-prevention. This homemade trick is sure to brighten and enliven your face!